Reassigned
by Heather9979
Summary: The goodbye we never got.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok…so I'm a sap and couldn't stand the fact that they didn't get a chance to say goodbye. So I wrote my own. Hope you all like it. I'm thinking about making it multi-chapter…with the emails back and forth between the two. Figured I would use what happens in the new episodes as back story to the emails and go from there….we'll see.**

Deeks was stunned…He had a lump in his throat, and his heart was located somewhere in the vicinity of his big toe after it sank….after everything they had been through the past few days…Kensi had been reassigned and hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye. To top it all off he had no idea where she was or how long she would be gone. He did however know that they were to be leaving from the airstrip shortly, and he had passed Granger pulling out….it dawned on him. He knew a short cut….he might be able to beat them there and at least say goodbye.

_**On my way to say goodbye….stall em as long as you can Fern *D***_

Deeks got to the airstrip just in time to hear Kensi arguing with Granger. " If you are going to drag me off to who knows where for God knows how long right before the holidays at least let me make a few calls and give some kind of explanation.Some of us have families that are expecting us….not to mention boyfriends who would appreciate and deserve some sort of goodbye…."

"Ok Ms. Blye you have 30minutes to make your phone calls and say your goodbyes…Your email will still be functional but remember this is highly classified so everything will be screened….however I see that one of those phone calls won't be necessary." He motioned towards Deeks who was standing nearby

"Deeks!" Kensi yelled and ran to him almost knocking him over when she hugged him tight. The tears started streaming down her cheeks. "I didn't think I was going to see you again or get to tell you goodbye…I just…I…..It's not fair."

"I know baby girl…I know…but it's not forever. We'll work this out. I'm not going anywhere. I finally got my girl and I'm not letting her go over some silly work assignment. You make your phone calls quick because I have something to say before you leave." Deeks leaned in for a gentle kiss and wiped her tears away. He very gently held her hand while she made the one phone call she needed to.

"Yes, Mom…..I know it's thanksgiving, No Mom I can't put it off any longer. I'm sitting here looking at the airplane now, and the boss isn't excited that I took time for this. I KNOW Mom….we'll be over when I get back. Yes, Mom I'll send Marty over for Thanksgiving even without me."

Deeks didn't know what surprised him more…the use of his first name, or the fact that he was apparently going to Kensi's Mom's house for thanksgiving. He gave Kensi a puzzled look.

"I mean I'll send him over if he doesn't have any other plans. Yes, Mom I know….look I really do need to go. Time's running short and I have another goodbye I need to say. I'll be able to email and I'll be sure to keep in touch…you know my address so that works both ways…ok? I love you too Mom."

Kensi hung up the phone, and glanced at Deeks. "I'm sorry, you really don't have to go if you don't want to…but I may have mentioned that I was going to ask you….before this whole thing went down."

Deeks grinned at her "I don't have any plans, and what better way to be closer to you than to spend the day with your family…."

Kensi could see all the hurt and pain in his eyes, and knew that it was reflected in hers. The tears started to stream down her face again. "Just don't leave me….please don't leave…promise me you'll wait."

Deeks grabbed Kensi and pulled her to him. He looked into her eyes and saw the fear. "I'm not going anywhere princess, I promise I will be right here waiting for you when you come back. We're going to make this work….I promise. I mean we're Kensi and Deeks…..we can do anything." He leaned in for a sweet kiss trying to show her just how much he was going to miss her.

"5 minutes Ms. Blye"

Kensi gulped "So we're good?...I mean 'our thing' is good."

"Never been better Fern, now do me a favor and promise me you'll come back to me…and give me another kiss before you leave."

"I promise I'll be back….I'll do everything in my power to come back to you….to 'our thing' just as soon as I can."

Kensi grabbed Deeks and took his lips gently at first and then the kiss progressed from there. When they needed to part for air she said "Keep in touch please…I mean even the silly little day to day things that you do…just email me….it'll mean the world..and I'll email back as much as I can about my day." Kensi sniffled as the tears started up again.

"I'll email you everyday princess…everyday until you come back to me. I love you Kensi."

"Deeks…I uh…um…"

"It's ok you don't have to say it back until you're ready, I just wanted you to know before you left."

Kensi reached up and wiped a single tear from the corner of Deek's eye and let her palm run down his stubble covered cheek before reaching around and tangling it in his hair to pull him in for yet another kiss. "I love you too" she whispered against his lips.

"Times up Ms. Blye we gotta go."

Kensi broke the kiss "Don't worry Max….I'll be back."

Deeks chuckled/sobbed and gave her one last sweet kiss. "Love you princess. Now go catch your plane."


	2. Chapter 2

**Just some cute Densi banter, Most of the updates on this story will be done after the episodes air. However I will do one tomorrow with the Thanksgiving update, and maybe one next Tuesday since there is no episode (Which SUCKS btw.)**

Kensi-

You just left, I stood there, truth be told cried a little or maybe a lot, I drove home in a haze, Monty jumped on me repeatedly, I took him for a walk on the beach and thought a lot about everything, cried some more (great now I sound like a wussy to my girlfriend), and I felt the need to email you already. This is going to be the longest, well however long it's gonna be that I've ever lived through. So I guess Monty and I will just sit here eat rocky road ice cream and watch Top Model without you. Wait, that doesn't even sound like fun. Truth be told not much sounds like fun right now. I tried to put on a brave face for you Kensi, but I'm really scared. I mean what guy wouldn't be scared to, you know go to Thanksgiving at his girlfriend's mother's house, without his girlfriend? Kensi what did you get me into? I miss you already, Monty misses you. Come home to us soon.

Love *D

Deeks I mean Max-

We landed and something told me to check my email, of course I don't know what it was because what girl is lucky enough to get an email from her boyfriend already. Oh yeah that's right. Me! That feels weird to think, type, and say, but it's a good weird. I could get used to it. My mother won't bite I promise, and she cooks WAY better than I do. I know that's a relief right? Her turkey and stuffing are pretty good, but my favorite was always the mashed potatoes and corn casserole she makes. Oh and the rolls are to die for! Tell Monty I miss him too. Almost as much as I miss you. I don't think I have ever missed someone this much, it physically hurts my chest when I think about it. I've tried not thinking about it, but that doesn't work either. So now I not only have a constant pain in my chest, I have a constant pain in the ass too. (Yes Granger I'm talking about you!) Other than that I can't really say much, but please keep the emails coming. I want to know everything I'm missing while I'm gone. Hoping to see you sooner rather than later.

Love you too *K

Fern-

Wow, Never ever ever thought I would hear or in this case read those words from you. I mean I have dreamed about it literally for years, but wow the reality is so much better. I can't sleep….HELP. Normally at a time like this I would pick up the phone and call you. You would talk to me until I fall asleep, or well even better would be if you were here snuggled up to me in one of my t-shirts. If you ever get an address that I can send a package to, let me know. I have a couple shirts for you, I'll even make sure they smell like me. Right now I miss your voice most of all, and your smell, and your kisses, ok I miss it all.

*D

Max-

Loooooooooooove You! Really two emails in one night…a girl could get used to this. I'll check on the address cause right now anything that smelled like you would be great. I mean even you are better than what I'm having to smell here. Joking, I promise I'm joking. You know I love the way you smell like outside and the ocean. You really need to try and get some sleep though. I bet the right side of the bed still smells like me. If you'll go lay in the bed on the left side and snuggle the pillow I promise I'll lay on the right side of my bed and snuggle the other pillow every night until it can be you. Tomorrow is gonna get crazy busy for me, so I'll try to message you again before I go to sleep. Tell my Mom I love her and Happy Thanksgiving. I expect a full recap.

Love Kensi

Kensi-

Going to go to sleep now and cuddle my pillow girlfriend, don't get jealous she's just saving the spot for you. Please please be safe and Granger better make sure someone has your back. I promise a full recap of the thanksgiving activities and my whole day as long as you do the same for me, well as much as you can.

Kisses and lots of love *D

Deeks-

Love and Kisses right back at you, and that pillow better watch it when I get back because there isn't going to be any room in the bed. Going to sleep here now too.

Love Kensi


	3. Chapter 3

My dearest Kensi,

Happy Thanksgiving Princess! I never imagined that we would be spending our first Thanksgiving together, apart. I woke up kinda late this morning, as I'm sure my pillow girlfriend is now complaining about my sleeping habits just like you do, because I was certainly crowding her on the right side of the this morning. She's not nearly as much fun to share a bed with though, as she keeps her hands, arms, and legs to herself. She doesn't do nearly as good starfish impersonation as you do. There was also no snort snoring in my ear, and judging on my mood I'm betting there was a lack of nose twitching as well. I did dream about you though, however I now know that the dream does not do reality justice. So anyway when I finally drug my sorry self out of the bed Monty and I went for a walk on the beach. It really was a beautiful morning. When you get back do me a favor and remind me that I want to take more morning walks on the beach with you, sunset walks would be nice too. So when I got home I had to ponder what to wear that wouldn't be an embarrassment to you. So basically I had to find something that would impress your family. I couldn't decide so I simply went with your favorite blue shirt and a nice pair of jeans. Oh! I forgot to tell you that Sam invited me over for thanksgiving as well so I promised him that I would come there after I left your mother's. Everybody thinks I'm strange by the way for going to their house without you, kinda felt strange too. So I got plenty of good food today, and I most certainly wasn't alone. I've never had good memories at the holidays princess and I was hoping that we could change that. Even in your absence today was a good start in that direction with your family.

So I got to your mother's house, where I was introduced to the WHOLE family as your boyfriend. Can we say kinda awkward? So I got the third degree from everyone there, and I didn't know what I could and couldn't answer so they all probably think I'm kinda shady. In general you have a really great family Kens, they made me feel very welcome and your mother especially made me feel like I belonged. I got to help out in the kitchen and carry the turkey to the table. You were right she is a much better cook than you. (my shoulder hurts just imagining the shoulder punch I'd get for that one). The food was great, all of it. I've never felt so stuffed after one meal just to be planning on indulging in more leftovers. Which I got a huge plate of by the way. Soooo apparently you mother's dog had puppies, three of them to be exact. Your mother told me that one of them was supposed to be your Christmas present but that she was ready to leave now, so me being the nice guy I am volunteered to keep her for you until you made it back. She's adorable by the way all black and white with a stubby little nose, and a personality to die for. I'll get to that in a minute. When I picked her up to leave I noticed that she had a little boyfriend, and well I couldn't pull a Granger and yank them apart…so your mother sent the little boy home with me to. Apparently Monty needed another brother.. I have named him Ripley, like Ripley's believe it or not. I can't believe this is actually finally happening. Anyway he is cute in a studly type way. He has one blue eye and is completely smitten with your little girl. On to the third puppy who was facing life all alone, so I pulled some strings and made some phone calls to my upper level contacts (Michelle) and he found a home at the Hanna household. So needless to say your mother was very happy with me. Anyway on to your little girl, and her personality. She is definitely in charge and in control of the situation and not afraid to let the others know. Turns out she can even boss Monty around, but then she is the sweetest, most loving, snuggliest dog I have ever had. She reminds me an awful lot of you, but the little girl really needs a name. I mean I can't call her puppy or dog or Kensi, that would just be weird.

So I took the last puppy to Sam's house when I went for a late dinner and some football games with the guys, the kids were so happy. It was great, I was finally the fun guy. They liked Uncle Marty better than you all did. Something tells me that Sam still wasn't too happy with Uncle Marty and his gift. We had some more really good food and just some quality guy time. Everybody asked about you and wanted me to wish you a happy thanksgiving. We were all good and having an excellent time right up until Hetty showed up. None of us really knew what to say to her, because I knew we were all upset at her. Some of us more than others, but upset nonetheless. She could sense the tension and really didn't stay long, but she assured us that she had her reasons for doing what she did and promised us that you would be back and be a part of our team again. She also told us that should we have any mail or packages for you that they can go through her, we were not privy to the address or the location of the OP. So I guess I'll get a package out to you Monday morning. Something to get you through the days until you can see me again.

After all the dinners I returned home to my now a little fuller house. By the way the dog walker says thank you for his quite substantial raise. They are so funny and cute babe they keep me entertained and give me something to laugh at. I don't think they could have come at a better time. As I write this your little girl is snuggled in my lap and the minute anything else gets near me she growls and snaps. She's a little jealous just like you.

I guess it's time to sign off for the night.

Love you Kensi *D


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok so many of you have asked for Kensi's reply to Deeks. Here is it along with his prompt reply to her letter.**

Deeks,

You have to be the sweetest man on the face of the Earth. How did I get so lucky? You did NOT have to pick up my puppy for me or find homes for all of the rest of them. I mean really what does Monty think about the new additions? It's kind of sweet that you are taking care of my baby for me and apparently she already has a very handsome boyfriend. Just like me, really how'd I get so lucky? Can you send me some pictures? I really don't know what to name her, what do you think?

I'm glad you had a good Thanksgiving at my mother's, and I'm even happier that you got along so well with all of them. Makes it easier to plan on all the future holidays at her house.

I still miss you so much, that I don't know what to do with myself. I know I'm not good at discussing this, well this whole thing. Our thing. I think it's easier for me by email, well easier until I actually have to hit send. Then I go back and delete and rewrite everything 5 times before actually sending it. So here goes…I promise no rewrites this time.

I have liked you since I met you as Jason Wyler. I'm surprised that Sam and Callen haven't told you that whole story. You had ways of affecting me and often infuriating me, which was way more than anyone had done in a long long time. I had locked myself away and refused to let anyone affect me or my emotions. You knew a way around that wall. It scared the daylights out of me to find out that you were just getting out of a relationship with a really bad ending, I was scared to let you in any further. I was scared to trust you. I had really bad luck with men and particularly partners leaving me or getting killed. The first time I really felt that unconditional trust from you was when you finally offered to let me see your guy. I wanted to show you that you could trust me and that I trusted you by not taking it. I do still want to see it and fire it though, guess it's a product of my natural curiosity. When you got shot and I thought that I had lost my partner all over again I went into full panic mode. When I found out that you got shot because they were truly after me, it caused me so much guilt. That's something I've never told anyone before, sheesh am I going soft? I really hate seeing you undercover with other women, so much so that the name Monica still makes me cringe. I really love going undercover with you as your wife, it lets me see what the future could be in a perfect world. Let me see what else I can ramble on about. You have the cutest little lopsided grin, and I in fact do find that I like facial hair…on you. I don't really like it when you get a haircut, as I am fond of the shaggy golden locks. I enjoy our playful banter, and I like the fact that you keep me on my toes. Touché.

Ok, getting the message that I need to go from Granger. I'll continue later. I really do love you so much more than you know. Mainly because I've never told you.

Happy 1st Thanksgiving

Kensi

Kensalina,

I like this no filter no rewrite side of you Kensi. Your emails are the bright spot in my day. I think I just read that email 10 times. I wish you had told me all this stuff in person, but I'm keeping these emails so we will talk about it. I promise. Especially the stuff you like about me, that's the really good part.

I think you should call your dog Fern, Fern. She really likes my Ripley. She has good taste. I have to confess I went out and got her a pink collar with diamonds on it, and a princess bed. She never sleeps in it, but it's cute. She won't let Ripley anywhere near it either, and Monty just sits back and watches them and then looks at me like I'm nuts. Don't let him fool you, he's a sucker for Fern. He lets her eat first, even gave up his spot next to me so she could sit there. She has a pink princess sweater too, course Ripley has a blue one that says Stud. I like to spoil our babies.

I have started to put your box together, I put your favorite blue shirt in there along with a couple t-shirts. There is also another surprise in there. I sure hope you like it. When you open it, before you panic please email me so I can explain.

God I miss you. I miss the way you smell, the way you feel. Most of all I miss us, I miss the way I feel when I'm with you. My pillow girlfriend just isn't cutting it. Yeah she's a lot quieter and doesn't have smart comebacks for everything I say, but then again she doesn't have smart comebacks for everything I say. I don't think she likes to touché my touché either. Sadly I guess she'll have to do until you come back. I promise to let her down easy though, I'll just change my number. I live to hear my phone chime and tell me I have emails, and then I want to throw it when it's not you. I wish I could hear your voice. This is so much harder than I thought it would be and it's only been one day. I'm gonna sound like an idiot when I say this but I really hope it doesn't get any easier, I never want it to be easy to be away from you because we're supposed to be together. I promise you one thing Kens I'll NEVER leave you voluntarily. I know you've had some rough luck where it comes to men in your life, but I promise to be the exception to that rule in every sense if the word.

I gotta go Kens, need to try and get some sleep tonight. I'm supposed to be at work in the morning. Don't know how that's going to work out, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

Love you babe

Deeks


	5. Chapter 5

Kens,

I can't begin to name all the times I have missed you in the past few days, but I'll try. First off I haven't written for a couple days simply because I can't stand to look at a computer screen by the time I get home. Since I have not been assigned a new partner I'm stuck on desk duty most of the time, and I'm sure you're well aware what that means for me. Marty Deeks Cold Case Detective at your service. UGGGG So I'm left nothing better to do than sit there and stare at your empty desk. I even decided to go sit at your desk for awhile, I tried to explain this with the open flow workspace tactic but I think Sam and Callen saw right through that one. I have decided to stay at your desk while you're gone though. It'll be easier for me to see someone else sitting at my desk than to watch someone else sit at yours.

So let me tell you about Fern…That is a pup after my own heart. She is so snuggly it's like she knows I need the love right now. The dog is like a freakin genius too she is already almost 100% potty trained. The dog walker is still ecstatic about the new additions. They all LOVE the beach we walk there almost every day when I get home from work. Monty still likes to frolic in the surf and when Fern lets him Ripley tries but then decides he's not fond of the water. He prefers to tear around in the sand like a crazy man. Fern never leaves my side. She has also graduated to sleeping in the bed. Monty really doesn't care for this much but he still sleeps on my feet like he always did. Fern on the other hand has to be under the covers and right up next to me. I've done some research lately because I knew next to nothing about Boston Terriers when I agreed to take them, but I really think I'm in love with them. Not sure you can have Fern back when you get home, and I know she won't part with Ripley. When she's not snuggled up with me she won't let him out of her sight either. She still bosses everyone, including me around.

I get the feeling that Sam and Callen are taking it easy on me, there haven't been nearly as many jokes. They haven't made fun of my hair even once, and I know I have dark circles under my eyes since I haven't been sleeping well. Callen hasn't commented even once other than to be nice and tell me to go home early and get some rest. Eric and Nell have been super sweet always making sure that I have food to take home so that I eat, I get the feeling everyone thinks I'm getting ready to break or something. Either way everyone wanted me to tell you hi, so….Hi from everyone and they all want you to hurry home. None more than me though. Can't wait for you to get your box! I'm so excited.

Well Princess I gotta go, Hetty busted me writing to you instead of working on these cold cases. She said to tell Ms. Blye to keep safe and hurry back so she can have her detective back, whatever that means.

Lots of Love

Deeks

Hey babe,

I haven't had much time to write lately either. Been really busy and when I'm not, I'm trying to sleep. Not doing to well with the sleeping though. I'm sore and could really use a massage from your magic hands. What's in the box? I'm sorry you're stuck dealing with the cold cases, and working from my desk huh? I'd tell you not to mess it up, but well we've all seen my desk. Sounds like my pup is a very smart pup who loves her daddy almost as much as I do. Fern huh? I guess that's as good a name as any. Fern better not get too used to snuggling with you, that's my spot and when I get home I don't plan on moving out of my spot again any time soon. Tell everybody I said Hi, that I'm working on keeping safe and hoping to be back soon. Not looking good though, wish I could give an estimate and happier news. This time of year sucks for me anyway and then to be stuck in this god forsaken place with people I don't really know, or even like that well. It just sucks. Been kinda depressed lately and having bad dreams too so sleep really isn't happening. Granger is making me go to medical this afternoon apparently he doesn't like the way I look or some garbage like that.

God, I miss you Marty Deeks. I hope you can be patient with me, because I'm having trouble being patient right now myself. This SUCKS. I don't know much right now, but I do know that I love you and that what we have is worth fighting for. Both the relationship thing 'our thing' and partnership I mean. I can't think of a better partner, so we have our work cut out for us when I get back ok?

Love you

Kens


	6. Chapter 6

**The response to this story has been amazing! Love the reviews.**

Kens,

Your last email has me worried babe. You need to take care of yourself, which means eat and sleep. You need to be at the top of your game while you are there so you can come back to me. I'm sure that this is in some way my fault and if I'm affecting you in this way I'll stop with the emails telling you how much I miss you. Please go to medical and get checked out, let them take care of you. I need to know that someone is taking care of you. Please, I'm scared to death here princess. I mean if Granger of all people noticed that you don't look good there must really be something going on. Please!

Love, Deeks

Deeks,

I'm fine! I'll go to medical, but they can't do anything for me. I'm just not sleeping, and they can't give me meds to sleep. I have to be able to be awake and function with very little notice. I've gotten sick a couple times, but the food here is awful so I'm not eating much. I don't have anything that a good night's sleep won't fix. Please don't worry about me. I'm trying to take care of myself the best I can, but I just can't sleep. I'm having nightmares again, and just the thought of going to sleep scares me. Do NOT stop with the emails they are the only thing getting me through. Your emails are a bright spot in my otherwise dismal days. Now What's in the box? I need to know!

Love, Kensi

Kens,

What kind of nightmares are you having babygirl? Talk to me please. I may not be able to do much about it here, but I still want to know. I want you to have happy dreams. Dreams about us. Fern, Ripley, Monty and I really miss you. We can't wait for you to get home so we can make more happy memories. Try thinking about the memories we are going to make and imagining them before you go to sleep, it might help with the nightmares. It's what I do. I still have the occasional nightmare, but not nearly as often as I used to. It's much better when we're together though, I have yet to have one when you are here. I'm still worried about you and scared to death here so please get better, get some sleep and keep safe so you can come home to us.

As far as what's in the box, you'll just have to wait and see when it gets to you. I hope you like it….I really do.

Love ya babe, Deeks


	7. Chapter 7

Hey Kens,

I'm writing this to you on my unpaid mandatory day off. Apparently Hetty doesn't appreciate it when we don't follow direct orders. Of course it all turned out for the best, because as you know we are awesome and caught the bad guy. I sure hope you are close to catching your bad guy. I still miss you like crazy. When you aren't here Sam and Callen get to do all the cool stuff. I mean I had to be a flight attendant, they got to be the pilots. I mean really, wouldn't I make a HOT pilot? Of course I don't really know how to fly a plane but I'd look good pretending right? Either way I ROCKED that uniform, I'm sure you would have appreciated the view. I know I would have enjoyed seeing you in one haha. It gets a little easier for me when we stay busy here. I tried to get Nell and Eric to tell me where you were today, but they're either really good at playing stupid or they really don't know. I know they're smart enough to find you, but I think they may have been threatened with losing their lives if they tried. I'll keep working on them. OHOHOH! There is a new member of the team. RoboHetty….she's frankly quite scary. As if one Hetty wasn't bad enough, I mean she's a freakin ninja as is. Now there is a robot that isn't quite as quiet and stealthy as the original but I mean really, she can be in two places at once! I got busted by the bot while I was grilling the wonder twins for information…not that I was getting any anyway but I got called to the office. I apologize in advance. I laid it all on the line for Hetty asked her why she sent you away and if it was because of me. I told her I could walk…I can go back to LAPD I just want her to bring you back home to me safe. I meant it. I love working with you, but I love YOU more and it would be so worth it to have you back. I have no answers though because in her cryptic ways all she said was I have all I need.

Enough work. Our babies and I need you. It seems like they are growing soooo big, so fast. Getting smarter every day. Little Fern is completely potty trained already and the dog walker is as much in love with her as I am. Says that he wishes all his dogs were that easy to deal with. Monty is smitten too, he even lets her eat first without much complaint. Of course if they try to eat in front of her she sets them all straight. She's the smallest one, but there is no doubt who is in charge of everything around here. She even bosses me around. She has kicked the pillow girlfriend to the curb and insists on sleeping on your side of the bed snuggled up against me. You might have some competition for some room in the bed babygirl. However I'm sure we'll all figure something out that works for all of us.

You should be getting your box from me soon! I can't wait for you to get it. Might answer some questions for me.

Love ya, Deeks

Deeks,

You guys really need to listen to Hetty. If she told you to do something there was probably a pretty good reason. I know I know, it might be different if I was there to watch your back. I'm not…so you just need to be careful. I'm sure you were a rocking flight attendant….have I ever told you my flight attendant fantasy? Apparently not, cause if I had you would have kept that cute little uniform. I'm still eagerly awaiting this box I am supposed to be getting from you. The others have finally starting to get mail so maybe it will be soon. I really feel like the new kid here. I don't know anybody, and well…I feel like they resent me being here. Nobody knows why I'm here, including me. When I broached the subject with Granger he told me to focus on the mission that I didn't have to be Miss Congeniality. If I had a clearer idea of what my mission was it would be easier to focus on it. I can't take it much longer. I know I have built up walls but I need some type of interaction. I mean when they do talk to me, they're anything but friendly.

So glad you have the puppies to play with and keep you company. I really wish you would go to my apartment and check on it. I'm sure you can get in and there's a key in the drawer by the sink. Just keep it. You and the pups are more than welcome to eat any of the food that is there so it doesn't go bad while I'm gone. I'd hate to waste some Rocky Road ice cream and I had already gotten Fern some food it's in the cupboard next to the fridge. Take it and feed it to them so I don't feel like we're mooching off of you. You'll be surprised to see that the place is actually clean! I was getting everything ready to have a pup in the house so I really decluttered and threw out a bunch of stuff. There is also a crate and some other puppy things there for Fern if you need them.

I am starting to feel better. I'm still not sleeping well, and…well the food here still makes me sick. But I'm making it. I will make it. Every day I spend here is a day closer to getting back to you. HettyBot huh? Sounds terrifying. Hope she is bothering Sam and Callen as much as she does you. Take notes that there is no safe place a work to hide anymore. When I get home I am so going to punch you in the shoulder. I don't want another partner and what on earth were you doing offering to go back to LAPD without talking to me first? I get it that you want me back but you offering to do that is not going to end this mission any quicker and trust me when I tell you they will not let me out of here until it is over. That is why my letters have been delayed, because I am trying to work every waking moment of every day to try to get this awful thing overwith. I just want to be back with you, in every sense of the word. That includes being your partner. Took me four years to get you trained right I don't want to have to start over. Lets not be making any life altering decisions without each other anymore ok?

I don't want to end this letter by yelling at you so I'll end it like I do every night before I go to bed. I scroll through the pictures of us on my phone, smile some laugh some and even cry a little but I always say goodnight.

So

Goodnight Deeks…I love you Kensi


End file.
